It's a Whole New World...Of Porn

I have whacked off to lots of porn in my time. From 70’s super bush porn to that shit they got today that tries to put a plot into it, I’ve seen a lot of porn. I remember watching porn before I knew what the fuck jacking off was. Man that was an awkward stage, sitting there getting light headed with my nuts feeling like they were going to explode. If I never seen “Something About Marry” I might never have learned. Now I’ve seen lots of different types of porn to. Hell, the shit I’ve downloaded wasted makes me wonder what the fuck I’m thinking about when I’m blacked out. But out of all the porn I’ve seen the Japanese shit fucking scares me.

Now I’ve seen every thing from amateur porn to stuff as close as I’m ever going to get to a donkey show. But when I came over seas I felt as if I was 12 all over staring at naked cooch all over again, but not in a good way. Within a week of getting here I was shown a clip that was being emailed around of a chick getting off…to a fucking squid fully inserted into a place a penis should have been. And I mean fully inserted. She was moaning and saying stuff in Japanese and I didn’t understand what the fuck was going on until the tentacles started popping out. After the thing came out it was as big as her back. And it some how fit up in there. I’ve heard of the Japanese tentacle rape cartoons they had over here but this was an entirely new level of that. And so began my mental scarring.

Then not long after that it got worse. Next up on the play list was a chick on her back with her legs near her head with a funnel in her ass. Ok now I’ve seen lots of things crammed in the asses of porn stars but what was next was new to me. Who ever was holding the funnel took out a bowl of some sort of small fish and proceeded to load them in to her butt hole. I have no clue how she was supposed to be getting off to that but I’m guessing she was as I still had no clue what she was saying. But after being filled up she begins shooting them out like a tommy gun. And got some pretty good distance, a few feet beyond the target bowl the funnel helper was holding. What type of person gets off to this type of shit? If Japanese women enjoyed having this stuff done this says all types of weird shit about what Japanese men enjoy spanking it to.

But what was worse was yet to come and it was even porn related. This clip consisted of a bunch of Japanese men looking like they were getting off…. TO BEING HIT IN THE BALLS. And not just being punched or kicked in the jewels but having 2X4’s swung into them and chicks with high heels jumping off chairs into the twins. And what made it even more fucked up was the guys seemed to like it. I have not known a single guy in my life that got any sort of enjoyment from barely being nicked in the balls. Yet these dudes seemed to love chicks going at it with round hammers. Tears are building up just thinking about the pain at this moment.

Now you would think that with all this weird shit they do that the porno mags would be just as interesting. Nope! They some how managed to take all the fun out of that. Believe it or not with all the stuff I had seen thus far they censor printed pictures. All the good parts are blurred out or some how covered up. Now I have a good imagination but sometimes I just want to see some beaver. I found out that the Japanese tend not to like my favorite animal it would appear. Tits are still there but it’s no fun with out the full picture. It’s like a puzzle that some of the pieces are missing. After your done it’s just no fun unless you have the whole picture.

But from what little bit you do get to see one would assume that along with not being able to show the best piece of the picture that razors are blurred out as well. It’s like they are behind 30 years in the porno industry. It’s like seeing the 70’s super bush pornos with out that awesome music. That was the only thing I liked about that period of times porn was the music, it’s freaking awesome. Now I love beaver but what is better than that is hairless beaver but that is about as easy to find as a midget in an elementary school.

But even though it is blurred out to the point of almost being useless, going to look for it in a Japanese porn shop is always interesting. It is a trip into the even more bizarre and fucked up. From sever bondage to chicks that like the taste of reprocessed peanuts. It was like having my eyes ripped off and viewing the porn for the first time. It was scary to say the least. But it also showed me that they’re obsession with cartoons goes way beyond what it should. What ever you’ve seen in japanimation they have for chicks to wear. What’s next, actually fucking a cartoon? Not sure how you would do that but I’m sure the day they find a way there will not be a single dude over here.

I long for the days that will come when I can watch normal porn where three guys do shit that is illegal in at least ten states to a chick with tits made of pure silicone. I mean after this place even a double-ended donkey show would seem normal. No wonder my mind is so totally fucked up.